A Novelist, columnist & playwright


“There is no such thing as foreplay”… “Platonic love is certainly pathetic”… “In reality women get men into bed”… “All men spend a certain period of time as females in their mothers’ womb”… All these claims are from Meltem Arikan’s last book ‘The Body Knows’. Arikan pointed out all the special information that you need to know, to Boxer.

01.05.2008 | Boxer, Emel Lakşe

Your book’s title evokes that the human body is actually aware of enigmatic things. What does the body know?

Our brains and bodies know the capacity to exist as a whole. But we have fears and anxieties both coming from the archaic periods and the traumas from our childhood experiences. These fears and anxieties obstruct our brains to access the knowledge of our bodies. What I persistently try to underline is: Unless we are purified from our fears and anxieties, it is not possible for us to access the capacities of our brains and bodies.

Which part of their body do you think men and women most embarrassed by, are alienated by and to which they treat worse?

Women and men who cannot define their individual existences give different reactions to their own bodies. Women, in general, complain about their insufficiency when they compare their bodies with other women’s. Men feel embarrassment when they presume their sexual organs are small. In general women mostly mistreat and most alienated to their sexual organs whereas men mistreat all parts of their bodies.

In the preface of your book, you complain about the misperception of sexuality. You say that sexuality shouldn’t be reduced to the number of intercourses. In that case it seems as some people got it wrong. Is score really not important at all?

No, because function of sexuality is not only for reproduction or relaxation of the body. Sexuality should be experienced in a way that bodies can continuously regenerate. What is important here is, to energize all the cells in your body and brain to become active and a live being.

Well then, does the body of a man know how to deal with the decreasing sexual performance in his older years?

Beginning from their adolescence if men allow their bodies to regenerate instead of using up their sexuality, then they won’t experience any decrease in their performances in later years. Men, who use up their sexuality during adolescence, have a lack of libido not only because of physical reasons but also psychological reasons. They become alienated to their bodies. In other words they are drawn away from sexuality on their account.

Is foreplay also another superstition about our bodies?

Foreplay is a nonsense concept created by men. It is supposed to be essential for the so called sexually ‘inaccurate and defective women’ to start sexual intercourse. From hair to toe, every part of the body is involved in sex. There is no such thing as fore or after. The moment eyes make contact, the moment lips touch or the moment hands feel each other sex begins. Making love and sex are not two different things. This perception is a result of being miscoded.

How about the platonic loves? Like the stories of Leyla and Mecnun, which we listened to for years as fairy tales, do they not exist at all?

I define the situations, which were perceived or taught to us as platonic love, ‘pathologic love’. You say you love someone but you cannot touch that person, you do not smell his skin, you do not see him, you do not hear his voice, you do not know what is the taste of him and you feel that you are in love. Could this be possible? If so, then I would ask what is it that you are in love with? If you do not have any communication or anything to share, could it be love? Actually in such a case, there is not any other person; one admires his/her own imagination. There is only one’s admiration and persuasion to the non-existing imagined person. Unfortunately, society embraces and even approves this situation. Yet, there is nothing in the reality. This kind of cheating increases the social conditionings. The unreachable lover becomes the most valuable. When the bodies are excluded, virtuality occurs as requested by religions. Its not important anymore if the loved one is not real. The important thing is to believe in. If you set sail for the platonic love then step by step you become a pathologic case.

Is it a woman who chooses? Or a man?

According to public’s general opinion; men always make the first step. Unfortunately, women also accept this. However, in the relationship both women and men may not be aware of it but it’s the woman who makes the first step in order to have the continuity of her genetic species.

There is also a cliché ‘it’s not the length but the function that counts’. Is it true or false?

It’s a known fact that five percent of men’s sexual organ is longer and five percent is shorter than the average length. The 90 percent is of average length. However, even the ones who has an average length sexual organ since childhood, code themselves as “mine is small” as of the moment they see any of their friends having a longer or a bigger one. This miscoding determines their entire sexual lives. Also during their adolescence the sizes they see in the pornographic magazines and films approve them to be right. In fact those sexual organs in those films are chosen from five percent of the average. Men take no notice of this. They accept in advance the insufficient size of their sexual organs. They are not aware of the fact that the body needs to pump blood to that area for the sexual organ to erect. And as the time goes by it becomes difficult for long sexual organs to erect and sustain in erection. The length is not important in men’s sexuality. What matters during erection is that, the width of a sexual organ and how much it multiplies its original size.

Men always speak of ‘physical need’ and they demand their sexual needs from women. Is it certain that women’s physical needs are less than men, really?

This is certainly wrong. Women are also in need of sex as much as men. Physical need is more about eating or going to the toilet.

You say that the sexual reflex and to like someone are totally different from each other and to separate them is essential. Then one might suggest: ‘If my body knows more than I do then I can have sex with everyone I fancy’ Isn’t it a contradiction?

When you want to have sex with someone and when you want this with your mind, feelings and body as a whole, then I would say ‘you should definitely have sex’. However, If you say ‘my body wants it but…’ then I would ask ‘Is it really your body that wants to have sex?’. It cannot be a bodily desire for a person to use his/her body, which is the most sacred possession of self, or let it to be used by others roughly. This could only be the result of wrong conditionings, fears or weaknesses, which fool you. When a woman has sex with a man, she can enrich the sex by using not only her body but also adding her mind and feelings into sex. For this reason, if there is a communication between the bodies but no balance in between the minds, a woman will not ever think ‘my body wants it, I should have sex’. But it’s not essential for men to have a mind communication in between. Therefore when there is a bodily attraction, a man can have sex.

Do you think our sexual lives are actually all problematic?

Yes. Without knowing their bodies, women and men, are trying to experience sex with wrong conditionings. The journey to know your body has a pattern passing through curiosity, examination and research. It’s even been avoided to make scientific research around these areas. The result of the researches have not been shared with public. As a result, sexuality, which is tried to be formed by hearsay, is squeezed in between pornography and religious beliefs.

Would you agree that anatomically women are passive in their sexuality?

No way.

But at the end, a woman will not rape a man, right?

The word ‘rape’ must be redefined and it should be excluded from its interpretation of the mechanical input-output action. And then you realize that also women can rape men.

One of the main themes of your book is fear. Is it men are afraid of women or women afraid of men?

In reality men are afraid of women. The main reason for the fear of woman is that, men’s subconsciously having the knowledge of coming from a female basis, for thousands of years. They use all sorts of violence against women to quell these fears. When they use violence they see themselves entitled to this, for the sake of protecting themselves. For this reason they usually do not feel guilty. However, this period is going to end. Removing men’s fears will be women’s essential duty in the new world order.

In your book, you also explain why men have nipples…

Nature was constructed to generate human beings based on female structure. As we all know, there are two chromosomes that determine sexuality. One is X and the other one is Y. In the process of becoming a baby, cells are transforming into an embryo form. Actually the sexual faith of the baby is determined during impregnation. However, to a certain progressive period the embryo stays as X, in other words, is based on female substructure. Therefore when all the embryos become four weeks old they start to develop nipples. On the sixth week hormones that determine sexuality show up. All the embryos, which have XX chromosomes, continue to develop the female structure. If Y chromosome appears then the female structure transforms into male. Both testosterone and estrogen hormones produced in XX and XY structured chromosomes. But Y chromosome generates the embryo to produce more testosterone and is able to cancel the development of breasts. However, it cannot delete the previous progress of nipples. In other words, men’s program is able to progress in different changes but not able to delete those two nipples.