A Novelist, columnist & playwright

THIS IS A GAME BUT I WANT TO LIVE.



(This article was published in www.http://archetypeinaction.com/)

Throughout my life I pitied myself and isolated myself from the real orbiting world.

I designed my own world and became used to living in it.

My world was neat, static, risk-free and virtual.  In my world there was no dialogue; no relationships; and no movement.

I thought I was happy. I forgot that I had created it. I resisted reality, I kept sheltering in my own life.

Resisting, resisting, I was going nowhere, undecided which way to go, either my world or the real world.  I knew my world like the palm of my hand.

I covered up my feelings, everyday I set my own scene and existed within a blind knot within me.

I chose the real world.  The feeling I couldn’t define, the memories etched in my skin, inexplicable situations, scenes that defied understanding, unprotected events…. I wanted to understand.   I wanted and wanted a lot.

I chose to exist. Since I lived with men and women, I chose to understand them. I wanted to understand. And I understood that everybody was both pathetic and savage.

I saw that all of you inhabit your own worlds.  Just like mine, none of them overlapped other realities.  This is a game.

But I want to live so I’m breaking the game.