A Novelist, columnist & playwright

ON BEING A WOMAN…


(This article was published in http://www.yoladies.com/)

BEING A WOMAN IN TURKEY?..
I always find discriminations such as, being a woman in Turkey, being a woman in Germany, being a woman in United States or the conditions of women in Turkey, conditions of women in Holland, very disturbing. Whichever country they are from, women have been living under the power of male dominated system and the imposed laws of this system for thousands of years.The issues could be relatively less or more problematic, this does not change the fact that women from all around the world are essentially facing the same issues.

Did you ever hear questions such as, what are conditions of men in Germany or how is it like to be a man in Africa? You cannot hear any of them because men own this world.

I’ve always made mistakes. I’ve always ignored myself. Why do I have this feeling of guilt, never understood. I am always guilty. Everything is ruined by me. These mousy and passed away feelings of mine. As if my nerves are pulled back. Pulled backwards. Within a vague time. Within vagueness… I’ve always tried to be strong, but always remained as weak. The more I dive deeper, the more I feel suffocated. I cannot breathe. Isn’t there anyone who can help me? Isn’t there anyone who can hear my voice?

In fact, we are all women trying to be heard in the men’s world. However, over the last few years, it is not that easy for us to make our voices be heard anymore. In this century, we are in a transition period from the analogue world to the digital world and many countries are struggling for their freedom by risking their lives and many people in other countries are facing with new limitations.While the culture of fear widens its boundaries, the silence gets heavier and heavier day after day.

Slyly fed furiousness inside me…
My body composed of flesh and bones as if it turned into glass…just about to be broken…could I fix it? Could I fix my past or the future? 
Let’s say ‘enough’ I shouted. Would anybody hear me? My voice. A voice of a woman… Woman voice is equivalent to silence, right?

Women’s alienation from their bodies and restriction of their demands for freedom begins when men constrain women to veil. It follows as women to approve that they can seduce men’s sexuality and mislead them. It is imposed on women that men will use violence and rape women when even a strand of their hair is seen. ‘Only women can break the male dominated system’; could this be the hidden fact lying under all this? Why are not men suggested to pull themselves together but women are subjected to hide their bodies and their femininity? For hundreds of years men are living with unveiled women and do not rape them openly. So how come women are always a source of risk in societies where women and men are forced to live socially separated. While these generated fears estrange women from their bodies, men are also scared away by the projection of women having seductive potentials. Men can only dominate women by fear, so they are indeed the only ones who can make the explanations…

I do not know anything about it but recently I am being aware of something. I am pretty sure other women know nothing about it as well. I am being aware of my body, which was destroyed with history. I am struggling to reunite it with my mind. When the mind stays independent from the body it dives into an abysm. My awareness is so fragile like a cotton yarn it can suddenly fade away and disappear. But if you hold that thin yarn really tight then it turns into a thick rope. Otherwise the thin yarn drifts away, taking you with it.

I believe, women should undress themselves to be able to exist. Although, undressing oneself needs great courage and responsibility. But societies are in need of overdressing and they fear from nakedness because nakedness also means transparency.Today, some Islamic fundamentalist women not only overdress themselves but also define hiding behind veils as freedom.

When women are told to have three children, when women without veils are being liken to a house without curtains either to rent or for sale, when discussions about raped women’s guilt for wearing low cut dresses are carried to newspapers, when hearing the increasing voices of those demand for religious marriages to be legal which allows men to marry four women, I, as a woman, become more and more furious. For other women to keep silent and sometimes for them to acknowledge these statements hurts me deeply. Being a woman in male dominated system is painful.

Here in deep emptiness I am without a beginning or an end. My hand, my arm, my leg full of scars by being dispersed backwards and forwards.
My tears are so very heavy I am tired of hiding… My screams are like a puny headache. Reality petrifies when mind is prisoned in fear… A tiny stone between cinders, a flutter of a little hooked fish. Chords are doomed to be muted when ears are deaf… just like being a woman…

For me hope is the struggle of women for existence and to be able to exist. However, the sociocultural climate created by the male dominated system condemns women to have unhappy lives by driving them to have fake hopes.
These kinds of hope have turned into curse for me and for all women who want to exist. We are facing the results of these curses everyday. The male dominated minds are claiming that they struggle for the violence against women but cannot discriminate how they use the greatest violence on women by doing politics over women bodies. The politicians must move their politics, ideas and hands off from women bodies. As a woman, saying NO to every kind of violence against women is inevitable for me. For this reason I will continue to struggle against this.

If I cannot exist as a woman, I will become a slave, I do not accept being a slave.
It must be approved by all of us that there are no differences between a woman’s body from New York and another woman’s body from Turkey or a man’s body from Turkey and another man’s body from New York.
For thousands of years, the world has boundaries drawn by the male dominated system. It is time for women to say NO marginalisation created by boundaries. We must establish a common woman culture in the new world order.